The secret to success with women often lies in a man’s ability to flirt.

Somewhere along the line, flirting got a bad rap in this country.

If you look at what is considered a traditionally romantic country, which arguably some of the more effusive and romantic men, you see that French people are not afraid to flirt.

It almost seems that people in America are afraid to flirt because possibly they are afraid of being perceived as harassing someone, but I’m here to tell you that flirting done the right way as a pick up artist, is completely appropriate and a welcome addition to regular social interactions.

My definition of flirting is to let another person know that you appreciate that person’s’ unique qualities. It is actually a good exercise for anybody – to take a long, hard look at another person and be able to pick out something that you can appreciate about them.

In fact, I believe if more people in the world did this, there would be less violence, and more understanding and compassion everywhere.

So, the true way to flirt is to not have a relationship as the end goal.

Flirting and relationships are not necessarily mutually exclusive. What I mean by that is you can flirt with a great grandmother whom you are not in the least bit physically attracted to, but you can comment on her witty personality and enjoy talking to her while she feels better and happier, knowing you appreciate that quality about her.

You can flirt with the checkout clerk at the market. You can flirt with the bus driver, the librarian, the customer service representative on the phone, the plumber, your children’s teacher, etc.

You can do all of this as long as your remember the goal of your flirting with a girl is not to spark a romantic relationship, but to let the other person know that you appreciate the unique qualities that make them an individual.

So, your homework assignment is to jump on every single opportunity to flirt that comes your way for at least the next month. Remember that physical attraction plays no role in this flirting.

Train yourself to take some time to look at someone and appreciate some aspect of them. It might be just how hard your coworker slaves away at her job every day. It might be admiring your neighbor’s garden. Whatever you notice, take a few seconds to comment on it. Don’t be heavy handed about it, but do take time to mention it.

Then after about a month, try it on a woman you have never met whom you are very attracted to. See what happens. There is a very good chance that your anxiety about flirting with her is nonexistent. This is because you have made flirting a part of your personality and your nature.

It is natural to talk to her because it is no different than talking to the little old lady who lives next door. You are on your way to being an expert at flirting.