So you find yourself out in a social setting, maybe a party, a bar, or even a coffee shop. Your eyes meet with a sexy member of the fairer sex, and she smiles. This is the time to make your move. There’s just one problem: you don’t know how to talk to a girl. While many hucksters make their trade as snake oil salesmen when it comes to giving advice on how to talk to a girl, the truth is, there’s no mystical secret about this skill that can instantly turn you into a Cassanova. Guys want to talk to girls, and girls want to talk to guys. It’s just that human nature and societal norms have placed the burden of initiating conversation on us guys. That’s the first, and oftentimes hardest step, initiating conversation.
First things first, pickup lines are out. You don’t have one she hasn’t heard before, and all the lines in your arsenal will wither come across as lame, offensive, or both. Introduce yourself. If she has any inkling of interest, she’ll want to know who you are, and in turn want you to know who she is. Act natural and confident. The number one turn on for women is a man who exudes confidence. Creating a confident persona will take some practice, but start out by focusing on projecting your voice, avoid slouching, and smile. A smile shows her you’re at ease, and being comfortable in your surroundings is the cornerstone to projecting confidence.
So now you’ve introduced yourself, likely commented on your surroundings, and learned a modicum of information about one another. What are you going to talk about? Start small. Small talk is simply a tool to find common ground for more in depth conversation. No conversation with someone who is ostensibly a stranger will immediately Everyone is a consumer of pop culture to some degree, so ask her what movies, books, TV shows, or music she likes. When you find your common ground, make sure to offer your own opinions on the topic at hand, but be careful not to dominate the conversation. It may be tempting to try to wow her with the breadth of your knowledge about the state of American filmmaking, but if you get this urge, pull it back a little. Hint at this vast warehouse of intellect, but let her guide the conversation. Women, by nature, are more social than men. They talk more than men, on average, and you should allow their natural instinct flourish. She’s not looking for a know-it-all, she’s looking for supportive guy with common interests.
While you’re talking, keep in mind that your body language is very important. Once you’ve engaged a girl in a conversation, you’ll want to make her feel in tune with you, and keep the environment welcoming. Lean toward her and make eye contact while she’s talking. Make small gestures of physical contact; an affectionate touch of her arm while vocally agreeing with something she said will make her more open to increased contact. When you’re trying to figure out how to talk to a girl, what you do is nearly as important as what you say. Hopefully, your familiarity and ease will be growing as the conversation continues, and if it’s going well, escalate the level of contact. Touch her hands, or if you’re standing, the small of her back. If things seem to be going really well, wait for a lull in the conversation, and she looks down, she is attempting to appear demure. This is your opportunity to go in for a kiss. Granted, not every conversation will lead to a kiss, but if you learn how to talk to a girl, the odds go up every single time.
Be yourself, be confident, listen, and create a warm and inviting environment. These are the cornerstones of how to talk to a girl. Keep it simple, and don’t overburden yourself with “tricks of the trade” from alleged “playas.” Conversation with girls will become more natural, and the better you become, the higher your success rate will be. Good Luck!