Women, on a most basic, primal level want a man with alpha male traits.

Some people are confused about just what it means to exhibit alpha male traits. Being an alpha male does not mean being a jerk.

If you want to know how to attract women, you have to weed out the characteristics that alpha males display so you can spark her interest and yet avoid being a creep.

Alpha Male (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

An alpha male is a man who is decisive. He is not wishy-washy. He knows how to make a decision and isn’t afraid if it ends up being wrong later on. He moves through live with certainty.

Knowing how to attract women doesn’t mean being perfect. It’s okay to make mistakes. What’s more important is displaying traits that women want.

An alpha male is able to protect and provide. You don’t have to be six-foot-seven and two hundred and fifty pounds to do this. You can be small and still be a guy who can protect a woman. It only takes training and knowledge. A black belt in karate is more powerful than some lumbering giant who knows nothing about self-defense.

Women also want a man who can provide. If you can show you are a provider, you automatically increase your social value.

The irony is that women today don’t need to be taken care of. But at a primal level, this is still something that they are attracted to. So, even if you were wooing, a powerful diplomat with a self-made fortune, you’d be best to be a man who shows he can provide.

An alpha male is self-confident. If you want to know how to attract women, you’d also be best off cultivating this, which is possibly the most important characteristic when it comes to attracting women.

That, actually, should be the very first thing you work on when you embark on your journey of attracting women. Take a little time on the front end to get you some self-esteem and it will pay off big time later.

You might have to take a long, hard look at areas where you can spend some time at self-improvement to truly achieve the level of self-confidence you deserve.

With an honest self-assessment, you might decide that your confidence level is hampered by some excess weight or the fear of public speaking or something else. Everyone on this planet has areas of insecurity. It’s just a matter of determining whether these insecurities are standing in your way of success.

But don’t forget during your self-assessment to recognize and revel in the traits that make you uniquely different and worth dating. Just keeping that knowledge on the surface of your conscious is another great way to attract women.

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• Views From An Alpha Male (forbes.com)

It’s ironic that so many women out there are guarding their hearts thinking that every guy they encounter is just after one thing. Most women, on the other hand, are looking for a relationship.

Well, they would be surprised to learn that the majority (sure, not every single guy), but the majority of men out there really just want to find one girl to spend time with… well except for this guy: Why I will Never Have A Girlfriend.

In actuality, it makes sense. Guys for the most part like that sense of stability. They like knowing that there is someone who turns them on and whom they like that they can spend time with. It’s a lot easier than being on the prowl and hoping to seduce some willing woman into their bed.

I’m not saying there aren’t guys out there just like that. And I’m also not saying that most guys don’t want to go through a stage like that. What I am saying is that despite what most women think, men are pretty darn happy when they find someone cool to hang out with on a regular basis.

But guys, if you are one of the men looking for a steady girl, you have to realize that most women have the misconception that a guy is going to possibly use and abuse them, but you can counteract that wariness with a few simple steps.

Here are three easy steps in how to get a girlfriend.

How to Get a Girlfriend Step One:

For the first minute you meet a girl, convey that you are someone she can trust. By your attitude, actions, and manner show you are an honest guy with integrity.

But beware, this does not mean you tell her everything about you. You need to keep a bit of yourself mysterious. If you are too open and honest, laying it all on the line, she’s going to lose her attraction toward you and stick you firmly in the friend zone.

Your goal is going to be to walk that fine line between building trust, honesty, and keeping the flames fanned.

How to Get A Girlfriend Step Two:

When you meet a woman, immediately make it clear that you aren’t like every other guy out there trying to attract her attention. One way to do this is to tease her in a funny way. Don’t say anything that will be hurtful, but tease her so she knows you do not place her on a pedestal and that she does not intimidate you.

How to Get a Girlfriend Step Three:

Build attraction between you and a woman from the first minute you meet. You can do this with body language and eye contact and the right type of touch. Too many men touch in the wrong way and it ends up scaring or turning women off.

The right way to touch to generate attraction is a light, brief touch on the arm. But a truly sexy way to touch a woman is to lean over and gently touch her on her lower back as you listen to what she has to say. You can also do this while maneuvering around her in a crowded room.

Somewhere along the line, flirting got a bad rap in this country.

If you look at what is considered a traditionally romantic country, which arguably some of the more effusive and romantic men, you see that French people are not afraid to flirt.

It almost seems that people in America are afraid to flirt because possibly they are afraid of being perceived as harassing someone, but I’m here to tell you that flirting done the right way as a pick up artist, is completely appropriate and a welcome addition to regular social interactions.

My definition of flirting is to let another person know that you appreciate that person’s’ unique qualities. It is actually a good exercise for anybody – to take a long, hard look at another person and be able to pick out something that you can appreciate about them.

In fact, I believe if more people in the world did this, there would be less violence, and more understanding and compassion everywhere.

So, the true way to flirt is to not have a relationship as the end goal.

Flirting and relationships are not necessarily mutually exclusive. What I mean by that is you can flirt with a great grandmother whom you are not in the least bit physically attracted to, but you can comment on her witty personality and enjoy talking to her while she feels better and happier, knowing you appreciate that quality about her.

You can flirt with the checkout clerk at the market. You can flirt with the bus driver, the librarian, the customer service representative on the phone, the plumber, your children’s teacher, etc.

You can do all of this as long as your remember the goal of your flirting with a girl is not to spark a romantic relationship, but to let the other person know that you appreciate the unique qualities that make them an individual.

So, your homework assignment is to jump on every single opportunity to flirt that comes your way for at least the next month. Remember that physical attraction plays no role in this flirting.

Train yourself to take some time to look at someone and appreciate some aspect of them. It might be just how hard your coworker slaves away at her job every day. It might be admiring your neighbor’s garden. Whatever you notice, take a few seconds to comment on it. Don’t be heavy handed about it, but do take time to mention it.

Then after about a month, try it on a woman you have never met whom you are very attracted to. See what happens. There is a very good chance that your anxiety about flirting with her is nonexistent. This is because you have made flirting a part of your personality and your nature.

It is natural to talk to her because it is no different than talking to the little old lady who lives next door. You are on your way to being an expert at flirting.

It is unfortunate that many men simply do not know how to pick up girls. Since all girls are different, what may work for one, may not work for another. However, there are a few basic things that men can learn, that will help them in the area of dating.

First of all, it can not be stressed enough that girls do not like men who appear needy. This is a total turn-off to them. Women simply are not attracted to men who are desperate or who appear weak. This is probably the number one unattractive feature on any woman’s list of what they dislike in a man. It is always best for men to appear as if they are unavailable and not interested. This behavior is highly attractive to girls.

Another effective way to pick up girls is to exude self-confidence. Girls love men who have a lot of self-confidence. Self-confidence is best defined by the manner in which people walk, the way they conduct themselves and the way they communicate with others. When confronted with a beautiful woman, many men become shy and weak. This is the worst thing they can do. Although there are some girls who like shy men, most of them want a man who is outgoing and strong and doesn’t feel the need to go out of their way to impress women (read more on that here). This is because most girls want a man that can stand up for her and protect her. In short, women want men who can take care of them.

Another huge turn-off for women is men who do not care about their appearance. For those men, who want to pick up girls, they need to be attentive to their appearance. They need to wear clean, neat clothes and practice exemplary hygiene. No woman wants to be with a dirty, smelly man. They should be clean, wear deodorant and cologne and keep their hair and nails tidy. Many men ignore their nails, but it is a fact that girls will notice dirty, long nails. They should also keep their teeth brushed and use mouthwash if necessary. Bad breath is another turn-off for women. Although some women like hairy men, most do not. Therefore, it is always best to keep any beards and moustaches tidy, as well.

Another tip to pick up women is to leave those overused pick-up lines at home. Girls have heard them all and will not be impressed by them. The smart thing to do is simply to treat the girl as a human being and not an object. When talking with her, ask her about her interests and try to appear truly engaged in her answers. Do not act bored or distracted as she will move on to someone who will listen to her attentively.

Finally, this can not be stressed enough either, but the old-fashioned traditional ways of picking up girls remain strong today. Opening doors for girls, paying their tabs, buying them a drink and offering them a single rose can go a long way in helping to pick up girls. Girls love men who will treat them like a lady.

In conclusion, it is a sad fact that many men today simply do not know how to pick up girls. No two women are alike; and what may work to pick up one, may not work for another. However, there are some basic things men can do to help them with the dating scene. Men will have no problems finding girls and dating if they follow the easy tips outlined above.

Every man wants to be able to pick up any woman of their choice. For most men, this is a merely a dream. For pick up artists, however, this is a reality.

A pick up artist, or a PUA, is a man that has mastered the art of the “pick up.” These men, which are sometimes referred to as ladies men and players, understand what women want and use this knowledge to their advantage. Any man can become a pick up artist. He just has to take the time to build confidence and get himself into the right mindset.

What a PUA Looks Like

While looks aren’t everything, in the dating game, they certainly matter. If you want to become a pick up artist, the first thing you will want to work on is your look. Your appearance is the first thing that people notice and the easiest to change.

When becoming a PUA, many people will tell you that you need to “peacock” or dress in a way that calls attention to yourself. While this does work, you should first focus on becoming the most attractive version of yourself. Go out and get a clean haircut, cut your nails, put on some nice cologne, and take the time to iron your clothes. Practice great grooming first and then begin developing your style as you go. It really is that simple to start.

A successful pick up artist looks clean, smells nice, and is dressed sharply. He also stands straight and has a confident look in his eye. These are the kind of men that women are attracted to. So have your friends take a look at you and let you know if you meet this criteria.

What a Pick Up Artist Sounds Like

To become a pick up artist, you need to work on your confidence. Pick up artistry is all about mastering a skill. It is not about learning a few lines (some call them PUA Openers which can be found here) that you can recite to pick up women. A guy who is a true PUA is calm, cool, and collected at all times. He appears confident, strong, and in control.

Pick up artists are also charming and optimistic. They know how to communicate with women, while controlling their interactions. Their charismatic nature naturally draws the attention of the women around them. If you think that picking up women will make you happy, you’re wrong. You need to be happy with yourself before you can pick up women.

If you are a shy guy, this can sound extremely intimidating. Luckily, these skills and characteristics are nothing that can’t be learned. As long as you commit yourself to learning how to communicate with women and spend time practicing, you can become a suave pick-up artist.

How to Morph Into a Pick Up Artist

To begin the transformation into a pick up artist, you need to spend time studying and practicing what you learn in the field. Pick up artistry has recently surged in popularity and there are several master PUAs that you can study. These PUAs have different seduction techniques that can help you learn how to pick up women during the day, as well as when you are out at night.

Learning how to become a pick up artist also requires that you learn how to take rejection. No man gets every woman that they lay their eyes on. If you are going to learn how to pick up women, you are going to be rejected. At first, you may get rejected a lot. This is actually a good thing, as it will teach how to deal with setbacks.

The first step in mastering the art of seduction is to begin talking to women. Communicate with every woman that you see, whether it be through quick eye contact or a smile. Once you feel comfortable initiating communication, begin striking up random conversations. After you’ve learned how to talk to women, begin setting small goals. Aim to get one phone number each day or two dates a week. Start small and work your way up. The longer you spend sharpening your skills, the more successful you will become.

Any man can become a PUA (if you are interested, I recommend reading this double your dating review here). It doesn’t take movie star good looks, impressive muscles, or an expensive car. It takes confidence, skill, and a lot of practice. If you believe you have what it takes, then go for it. More than likely, you have nothing to lose and everything, including beautiful women and great times, to gain.

First, you have to make sure the first conversation goes well and you certainly need to know how to flirt with a girl. You can talk about personal things, the weather, a news story, or a packet of sugar. It doesn’t matter what you talk about as long as you both get a good feeling about your banter. Sometimes, the simplest conversations are the best. Girls are used to being asked about what they do or where they are from. But if you talk about something small or random, it will leave a much bigger impression. The first impression is crucial. A bad first impression here is similar to making a bad impression on a job interview. If you want to get a girl to like you, you have to leave your mark early.

Once you have the first conversation out of the way, you need to pick the right first date. Some men come on too strong by staging something overly romantic or expensive. Instead of doing this, try one of three things. First, think of a simple but memorable date ahead of time and ask her on that date. This date should be something simple like dinner and a movie, but add something more personal. Coffee or a walk in the park is a great idea. Second, ask the girl where she would like to go. She might like the idea that you are interested in her wants. Additionally, she might feel more comfortable in a place she knows. Third, pay attention to your conversation. If you talk about a place or a subject, suggest a date based on that. This requires you to think on your feet more, but it will pay off in the long run.

Now that you have your date set, it is important to make it go right. All you really need to do is be respectful. This means using good table manners, listening to what she has to say, and acting like a gentleman. Remember, she is evaluating you on this date. If you act like a jerk, it will send a message that you aren’t the right guy for her.

After your successful first date, it is important to show interest without being too clingy. This can be tricky for some people. In this situation, common sense is your best friend. If you call her, leave a message and wait for her to return the call. Don’t call repeatedly, because that makes you look like a stalker. If you don’t hear from her after a couple of days, try calling again in case there’s a chance she didn’t get the message. The same is true of text messaging. It might be tempting to text her, but don’t keep doing it if she isn’t answering. Women want to know that you are interested, but they don’t want to feel like they are the only thing going on in your life.

Once you and her start talking regularly (you can learn how to talk to girls here), share what is going on in your life with her. Tell her about your day and things like that. Women want you to listen to them, but they also don’t want to feel like you have nothing to say. Plus, doing this will make everything feel more natural. When you start to schedule dates with her, mix things up. Go out to dinner one night, out with friends another night, and do something active another night. Variety is a great way to get a girl to like you. Otherwise, things can start to feel stale.

First things first, pickup lines are out if you really want to get good at talking to girls. You don’t have one she hasn’t heard before, and all the lines in your arsenal will wither come across as lame, offensive, or both. Introduce yourself. If she has any inkling of interest, she’ll want to know who you are, and in turn want you to know who she is. Act natural and confident. The number one turn on for women is a man who exudes confidence. Creating a confident persona will take some practice, but start out by focusing on projecting your voice, avoid slouching, and smile. A smile shows her you’re at ease, and being comfortable in your surroundings is the cornerstone to projecting confidence.

So now you’ve introduced yourself, likely commented on your surroundings, and learned a modicum of information about one another. What are you going to talk about? Start small. Small talk is simply a tool to find common ground for more in depth conversation. No conversation with someone who is ostensibly a stranger will immediately Everyone is a consumer of pop culture to some degree, so ask her what movies, books, TV shows, or music she likes. When you find your common ground, make sure to offer your own opinions on the topic at hand, but be careful not to dominate the conversation. It may be tempting to try to wow her with the breadth of your knowledge about the state of American film-making, but if you get this urge, pull it back a little. Hint at this vast warehouse of intellect, but let her guide the conversation. Women, by nature, are more social than men. They talk more than men, on average, and you should allow their natural instinct flourish. She’s not looking for a know-it-all, she’s looking for supportive guy with common interests.

While you’re talking, keep in mind that your body language is very important. Once you’ve engaged a girl in a conversation, you’ll want to make her feel in tune with you, and keep the environment welcoming. Lean toward her and make eye contact while she’s talking. Make small gestures of physical contact; an affectionate touch of her arm while vocally agreeing with something she said will make her more open to increased contact. When you’re trying to figure out how to talk to a girl, what you do is nearly as important as what you say. Hopefully, your familiarity and ease will be growing as the conversation continues, and if it’s going well, escalate the level of contact. Touch her hands, or if you’re standing, the small of her back. If things seem to be going really well, wait for a lull in the conversation, and she looks down, she is attempting to appear demure. This is your opportunity to go in for a kiss. Granted, not every conversation will lead to a kiss, but if you learn how to talk to a girl, the odds go up every single time.

Be yourself, be confident, listen, and create a warm and inviting environment. These are the cornerstones of how to talk to a girl. Keep it simple, and don’t overburden yourself with “tricks of the trade” from alleged “playas.” Conversation with girls will become more natural, and the better you become, the higher your success rate will be. Good Luck!